Tired girl

I'm a tired girl today. My Saturdays are crazy. I teach 8 classes that are situated in such a way that i have no real break. Today I dashed for a pre-made sandwich during 10 minutes I had between classes. Honestly, I would rather be busy than idle. I feel better, more productive and just generally good. The thing is, the rest of my week is very very slow. I have to kick it into high gear and go from 2nd gear to 5th. It takes a lot out of me. Anyhoo...this will probably be a rambling blog. In true japanese-contradiction-conscious style, I'm still meeting up with the gang for a quick drink to bid Valerie farewell. We'll probably go to a little joint called God's Bar. The drinks are cheap and lots of gaijin hang out there. I won't be staying long though.

Frank is coming up tomorrow for a very quick visit. I usually go down to Gotemba, just because we can spend more time together that way. But even-so, I really wanted him to meet my friends here and spend some time in Koriyama. I'm grateful he's coming up my way this time. We did have a little bit of a falling out a couple of nights ago on the phone. It will be nice to talk about it more in person. Perhaps we were just both tired and a little on edge. In some ways I think it's good that we live so far away from one another. It gives us both the space to gain a little perspective. At the same time, we're leading different lives. Maybe that's a good thing...I don't know yet. In any case, I want to plan for the next few months. I want to do the best thing for myself, my career, my finances AND my relationship. August is coming up quickly and Geos will ask me if I want to stay here in Japan. Honestly, I haven't yet accomplished what I set out to yet. I feel like I just got here. If I stayed another year, it would open a door to working for Geos in San Francisco, it's another year of teaching under my belt, I could nourish the friendships I've only just started, and perhaps save some money. (I haven't been able to do that at all these days!) If I return to San Francisco, I'll be returning in much the same position I left in. I don't know if it's the wisest move...yet I miss it dearly. I was looking at some pictures I took of the Trans-America building and thinking of my friendships on all sides of the bridges. I miss everyone. I'm sure I could get a job-and the exchange rate would be so very much better! :) Money isn't everything. I know that. It's just such a cause of stress. Anyhoo...I want to make a decision, and of course I factor Frank into that decision. So much to think about.

I'm off for now,
lis.

My first host!

It's been a pretty good week! There is a new teacher in town, Laura. She's from Australia and taking Valerie's place. I'll really miss Valerie though. Anyway, Val was showing her around Koriyama and I thought it would be good for her to meet the gang. So, I whipped up some guacamole and nibblets so we could all meet the new girl in town. She seems nice, if a little overwhelmed at the moment. Regardless, we all had a good time. It was Ian, Valerie, Wendy, Laura and myself. Too bad Otis couldn't make it, but I think he was on a date. Anyway, I was a little nervous about having people over because I don't have a couch or anything. Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Vicky, the teacher who lived here before I did, often had people over. But I think she sold off all the niceties before I came (tv, couch and the like). It was (and still is) strange to meet people who knew Vicky. They all know where I live before they even know my name. I'm actually really excited to host! Plus, it's pretty easy to please Ian and Wendy with food. No offense, but British dishes are just down right *nasty*. Tim once gave me some good advice on the flight to London: When in London, eat Indian. It's true, I had the best Indian food I had ever had in London...and the worst ceasar salad. If I remember correctly, it was lettuce swirled with Miracle Whip. I think i took one unexpected bite and nearly spit it into my napkin. But I digress...It was a wonderful evening with friends, wine and laughter.

Contradict the Contradictions

I've been a little on the quiet side for the past couple of weeks. There is still this part of me that thinks I should withdraw when I'm not feeling rosy. But, I always find that writing and connecting puts me in a much rosier mood. And so it goes.

My oldest student is a 70 year old man. He's one of my favorites to tell you the truth. He loves to travel to North America, but spends most of his time in his garden with his wife (who apparently drives him a little crazy). He has great stories to tell and always makes me laugh. Yesterday, we got to talking a little about race and it had me thinking. I've been thinking a lot about it ever since I set foot here and I want to understand more. It just seems like such a huge, touchy issue. Still, if we don't talk about it, how can we understand it.

So, first of all. I'm no expert. I know squat about Japanese history and not much more about American History. It's my own damn fault and I know it. Consequently, I have more questions than answers and welcome the discussion.

That said, I'm living in a country in which there are two groups: The Japanese and Everyone Else (Gaijin-Foreigner). On the whole, foreigners are largely distrusted, treated very well "as guests", but no matter how long you've lived here (even if you were born here), will never be accepted as a social citizen of Japan. There is a bubble-like mentality that I can't seem to wrap my brain around. I've heard it said, especially in the work environment, that Japanese hold the interests of the GROUP much higher than INDIVIDUAL needs. When I first heard this, I thought it made sense and liked the idea. I especially had it in mind as Frank and I joined the Peace March in Japan. Something changes in the air, call it God or source or Buddah or electrons in my brain, but *something* changes when people come together for the same cause. But I digress. As I talk to more people about the group/individual idea, the more it seems to be the case that it only pertains to Japanese people. For example, I recognize a group called Humanity. According to the ideal, we should regard the needs of humanity above the needs of ourselves. Well, I guess the ideal doesn't go that far. Instead, the interests lie in what's best for Japan vs. the rest of the world.

And so, I had to think some more. In America, we hold individual ideas in high regard. People want to participate in class, share their ideas, contribute ideas in business negotiations and the like. In Japan, it is considered extremely rude to give your input during business meetings and classes are quiet. (I remember getting extra points for participation!) Apparently in school meetings, it is insulting to the manager to give input as it insinuates that they are not doing a good enough job. Even if they ask *directly*, "do you have any ideas on this topic?" nobody is to actually *give* an idea. So, many Japanese people have perfected the art form of somehow presenting the manager with enough leading questions that they are under the impression that they came up with the idea themselves. So, things happen very slowly, making simple decisions like where to hang the new signs on the wall, take forever, and many times I just have to take a deep breath and bite my tongue. Sometimes I just want to stomp all over the eggshells and make a big mess. Needless to say, I'm finding the "group" ideal stifling. (I won't even get into the gender issues.) Comments welcome.

I went down to see Frank in Gotemba this weekend. We had a wonderful time. I had been wanting him to see Master and Commander, ever since I saw it without him. He brought it home from the states (along with welcomed deodorant, lipstick and a few other preferred western items). Anyway, he loved it as much as I thought he would. I love being able to share things with him. We walked in the humid fog and generally enjoyed each others company. Did you know he could make his own tortilla chips?? What's a girl to do.

There's something bizarre about this price.

It's Golden Week in Japan and there are a lot of fesivals going on. I don't know much about the significance of what's in them, and much like Japanese food, neither do the Japanese people I've talked to. It seems to be another excuse to drink heavily in the middle of the day...but this time with streamers and kimonos. I'm sure there is much much more to it than that, but I have yet to figure it out. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I met up with the girls today: Tracey, Crystelle (the accent goes on the second syllable and she's not afraid to tell you), Megan and Karen. We all went to a cafe and tawked, which was really nice. It was also a bit bizarre and I found myself quiet most of the time. Especially when we got to the Reality Shows. It's strange. Many of my friends in San Francisco bawk at Reality Shows (save the occasional Survivor) and pride themselves in killing televisions. Now, don't get me wrong. I have strong opinions about the mass media, the lies they tell, the images they portray and the stories they don't cover. What's my point...well, it was an odd experience to be around people who get so excited about "reality tv". They know all of the shows. It was also a little strange to them, for me to be the only American in the joint *and* the one who wasn't in the know. If I were in the states and didn't know about "The Wall", eyebrows raise. I'm in Koriyama and didn't know about the Donald Trump be-my-assistant-or-somthing show, and jaws dropped. Well, I guess you just can't please everyone and who wants to anyway. (When our background music turned to a techno version of the Price is Right theme song, my eyebrows raised and I think my jaw dropped a little.) Then the conversation turned to Guchi, Coach, and names of men I can't remember. Again...I was pretty quiet.

The rest of the afternoon, Tracey and I went "antiquing". We drove a long while down a windy road. I truly wonder how she ever found this place! There were ancient Japanese pipes, vintage jewlery, clothes and shoes, furniture, kimonos, zippos you name it. Everytime I looked at a piece, I wondered about its history and how it got there in that ole' junkyard in the middle of nowhere. Maybe I just inherited my papa's gene that gravitates to garage sales. Anyway, I can't wait to go back.

New Wheels

Yesterday was a great day. I spent it with Tracey and Mike, toodling aroung Koriyama.

A little background. Tracey and Mike are actually morticians, not teachers like most Gaijins I meet. They have been here for about 8 years and know all the in's and out's. I met Tracey at the Cherry Blossom party a few weeks ago and since then, we can't seem to get enough of each other. Yak yak Yak Yak yak. I'm having one of those rare moments when you meet a new friend and you just click. Thursday, we spent hours basking in the sun (albeit in a parking lot) and exchanging stories, getting to know one another better. Mike doesn't actually live in Koriyama, but he comes up to visit her almost every weekend.

Anyway, they have sort of taken me under their wing and have shown me some second hand shops, import food shops that are actually *reasonably* priced and have warned me about the ever changing price of stamps. I guess the post office can be a little fickle. I actually nibbled on chips and salsa last night! Yay! (you have no idea.)

I'm so glad to have met them, and not just for the bike. THE BIKE! I almost forgot to mention it. One of their co-workers is moving his entire family to a different prefecture and there was a bike up for grabs. It's probably been ridden all of 3 times and it's a little rusty, but it's a mountain bike, bought for $200 and given to me gratis! It was so fun to ride home! I haven't been on a bike since I was probably about 10, mom running behind me assuring me she was still holding on. It's true, you never forget how.

So, I'm mobile now. It is definitly getting warmer. I'm enjoying the breeze while it's still here.

Write soon,
love,
lis.